" How are you?" Art in all Forms. His, Hers, Divines.

I am attempting to write my thoughts, but I fear that I have not written in so long that each sentence and and each thought is over drawn on what really needs to be said and expressed. Much like the greeting we give a long time absent acquaintance or social friend. Our voice is louder in saying their name, our smile held out wider in a pause to emphasis our emotion. We announce the question, “ How are you?” as though the received answer to this mystery could be the key to life and death itself. That is how I felt when I began to write again.

I have become a restaurant server. My only history in restaurants before was a dishwasher in a sushi restaurant and a line cook in a Italian kitchen. Serving is a different world. I am not writing this now so that you can feel isolated by me telling you that its a different world and so therefore you cannot understand me. I am writing to make you interested in it. It is my opinion that to watch and to see any person who is good at their job is a amazing view of love, tension, tolerance, art and drive. I have had the privilege over the years of being recognized as a artist. When serving I feel all the same pride, hurt, frustration, trapped emotion, and joyful pleasure that I do when creating. Still the art of serving can be done without the need of the art. For each art field, there is a audience field, I pray that you yourself are a artist to your pain, struggle, love and joy, but also that you are a audience member loving a art expression the same. Its our love of the art that keeps the arts as unconquerable goals.

I am twenty eight now. I never thought that I would be here. I never thought that it would still feel so young. I never thought that all my insecurity would still be here as well. It was kind words that once told me that our life issues never really go away. That being said I should think that this habit of life that I have formed for myself should become very boring. Still people express quite often that they have changed, the people who are saying this kind of thing are from every age of life. I must admit that I myself look back upon my previous life as a metamorphosis out of not knowing ones self, to knowing ones self. To this be said I am still quite confused how people can comfortably take spouses into their lives at young ages. I cannot so much as live comfortable with most of my memories of my former self, how can I live comfortably with a person who would also have such thoughts? To all this I must ask Heaven to guide me, because it is not my knowing of the establishment of Man and Woman together, but His.